Flux Candy Box of Boogers

I thought this would gross, but really it snot. I'm already knuckle deep in the box and all I'm getting is gold. I guess I really picked a winner. You could say I really have a nose for these kind of things. Are my jokes starting to booger you?

There are three flavors, snottermelon, sour green boogy (apple), and lemon loogy. Snottermelon is my favorite, potent yet not overpowering and honestly it has the best name. They're soft, like real nose goblins, but thankfully not sticky, so no sticking them under your chair. I got lucky, I found a real phlegm gem. 

Found at World Market

Opies Pickled Walnuts

I have never heard of these. It never even crossed my mind that you could pickle nuts of any kind, much less walnuts. According to Wikipedia, pickled walnuts are an English (go figure) delicacy from at least the early 19th century and have even been mentioned by Charles Dickens. It is frequently served at Christmas and with English blue cheese, but is served with cold meat or used in recipes.

They certainly aren't among the lovelier foods I've eaten. The outside is black as pitch and the insides are a sickly greenish brown. They smell strongly of malt vinegar, like you've been sitting in an unventilated fish and chips shop. Not bad, but extremely potent. None of this matters though, because the taste is incredible. Sharp, yet meaty with a strong vinegar finish. Another surprising thing is that they are soft, you could spread them with a knife, but they would mostly crumble. They really do need to be paired with something else strong tasting, over wise the vinegar is overpowering, but once you pair it, it brings out all the other flavors you would miss otherwise. I couldn't imagine these every really becoming popular here in the States, but as an oddball treat they're pretty good.

Donated by my mom

Found at Pa Dutch Tea and Spice Company (it shares a space with the Food and Candy Company)

Betty Crocker Maple Bacon Cookie Mix and Maple Bacon Frosting

People love breakfast. Since so many people no longer can afford to take the time to eat breakfast, it only makes sense that we've taken the traditional tastes of breakfast and turned them into tastes for other meals.

 

 

 

I still haven't figured out how to do uniform sizing. Or how to put frosting on without making a mess. Or how to parallel park. I'd have to say they are way more maple than bacon, although there is a certain smoky taste that lends itself to the illusion. Speaking of illusions, there are also little dark sugar clumps that are meant to simulate the feel of bacon chunks. The frosting is also strong on maple flavor and likewise includes a sugary topping that is meant to resemble real bacon. They do smell incredible however, like you just poured syrup all over your breakfast. Over all I have to say I like it, but I wouldn't want to eat too many at once, I think the maple would become overpowering and it would ultimately taste too much like chemicals, but it really does work in smaller doses.

 

Found at Food Lion

Lester's Fixins Peanut Butter & Jelly Soda

Is there anything more classic than the peanut butter and jelly sandwich? According to Wikipedia the average American will eat 1,500 of them before graduating high school and I can only imagine that high school dropouts will eat considerably more. I have to say, the weird pinkish color freaks me out a bit, kind of like an unholy combination of grapefruit and Pepto Bismal. 

The taste is even harder to describe, there's certainly a sweet fruityness to it. However I'm not sure which fruit they are attempting to replicate, I think it's strawberry, but for all I know it could be grape. The peanut butter flavor at the beginning is weak, but it becomes more obvious in the aftertaste. The more you drink the more all the tastes build up, you really have to drink most of the bottle to get the full effect and once you do the taste will linger for a while. Almost like its sticking to the roof of your mouth. It's not bad, and I certainly wouldn't mind drinking it again, but past the novelty factor (my favorite factor) I really can't see anyone deciding this is their favorite soda. 

Donated by my mom

Found at Pa Dutch Food & Candy Company 

Kellogg's Pop-Tarts Pumpkin Pie

I've been getting in touch with my inner white girl ( I imagine she looks just like me, but in Ms. Pac-Man fashion, has bows in her moustache) and have been eating quite a bit of pumpkin flavored foods. My weird thought processes aside, these are really good. I've never had warm pumpkin pie before, and I bet not too many of you have either. A real hot pumpkin pie would probably be too gooey and messy to eat, but once it's put into a crust pocket (which upon seeing it written out, sounds repulsive) it becomes a wonderful hot portable treat. The filling itself is all that a pumpkin pie could hope to be and the frosting is festive, sweet, and as always, necessary (I don't trust people who buy unfrosted pop tarts, they are probably pod people). It's good this comes in a double size box, six would just not be sufficient. 

Found at Food Lion

Calbee Snapea Crisps Wasabi Ranch

Interesting, I guess they can make Cheetos out of stuff other than corn. Actually it's not accurate to compare these to Cheetos, because they really have nothing in common other than texture. According to the package they are made 70% out of peas and are even shaped to resemble pea pods, just in case you forgot what you were eating. I'm also quite impressed with the wasabi ranch. That's not a common flavor in snack foods, but it should be. The bite of wasabi with the mellowness of ranch. Ii really can't say if they are a healthy, healthier, or just plain normal snack, but considering that they taste good I would certainly recommend giving them a shot. Just visualize whirled peas. Give peas a chance? No? Bad joke? I'll try to find something that will a-peas you. Peas don't stop reading my blog.

Found at 7-11

M&M's Pumpkin Spice

I've found the perfect pumpkin spice product for people who hate pumpkin spice. If there's any special flavor to this I really can't tell. Part of me wants to believe it's really subtle, like a picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm, but I think I have to admit it's just not there. It's not just me either, I passed some out at my office and no one could detect it either. They come in green, orange, and brown, which I guess is supposed to represent pumpkins, but I'm not really sure how. If the green is supposed to be for the stem, what is the brown then? All in all, disappointing, but on the bright side since it's the Age of Pumpkin Spice I'm sure I'll find things that'll do a better job of filling my pumpkin cravings.

Found at Target