Lay's Southern Biscuits and Gravy

I have to confess the concept of gravy always makes me nervous. I've spent enough time in hospitals (no, not for food poisoning) that I immediately assume when I see the word gravy is that it's some thin attempt to hide the awfulness of the meat with the juices that should still be in the meat. Sort of like how draining all the water out of a water balloon and then pouring it back on top of the balloon doesn't make it any more fun to play with. Southern gravy I've come to find out is a completely different thing. More commonly known as sausage gravy, it is made ground sausage, flour, and milk. Maybe a dash of pepper so you can say you customized it or to add a couple flecks of "what is that floating stuff?" I shouldn't have to explain what biscuits are, but in the off chance you are British, I will say that they are not cookies, you limey. Just kidding, god save the queen, or any other Sex Pistols song you like. Yes, I know that's not the name of the song. Have I rambled enough? Should I get to the review? Do I believe I ask too many rhetorical questions? These are really good. Opening the bag smells like waking up in a house that no one has ever heard the word "diet" in. They taste like breakfast sausage with a strong backdrop of dairy. I really couldn't detect much of a biscuit flavor, but since the biscuit is merely a gravy delivery system, it's not really missed. As my coworker said to me, "these would make Jimmy Dean proud". Or maybe it was Paula Deen, I get the two mixed up. As for the 2015 Lay's Do Me A Flavor competition, these are a strong contender, two comfort foods turned into one. All that's left is the review for the New York Reuben, and then I will crown a winner.

Found at Harris Teeter 

Donated by Crystal

Nabisco Brownie Batter Oreo

Stop the presses. What, print is a dying medium and I'm showing my age? Sigh, ok, pause the internet. Still wrong? Fine, you win, I won't tell you about life changing cookies, I'll just keep eating all of these wonderful treats and not share. 

I can't stay mad at you, dear reader, I'll tell you about them and more importantly where I found mine. I've had a lot of different flavored Oreos, and I've enjoyed almost all of them, but these may in fact be the best. Even opening the package created a heavenly chocolate breeze (which may or may not be the name of a Prince album). Is there such thing as too much chocolate? No, of course not, what kind of weirdo would even think that way? They really do taste like you started making brownies and then lost all self control and ate all the batter like an impatient piggy person. A glorious chocolate filled piggy person! A piggy person who seizes the day and goes for the gusto! I may have started oinking a little bit. So I guess what I'm saying is that these are pretty good. The only real questions left are can I figure out how to take over an entire Oreo factory like Smaug took over Erebor and how will I stop the inevitable ring wearing Hobbits that try to steal my cookie treasure?

Found at Shoppers

Lay's Kettle Cooked Greektown Gyro Potato Chips

Like many ethnic enclaves (Chinatown, Little Italy, Midgetville), Greektown has its own foods and culture. The food that has most come to be recognized is the gyro. Or maybe it's supposed to be gyros in the singular. Whatever, it's all Greek to me. Whether it's pronounced "yeeros", "jiros", or "heeros" it one of the United States' favorite spindle meats (spindle meat sounds like something from a really trashy porn novel). A traditional gyro is meat, mostly beef and lamb, ground and fused together into a cylinder and then cooked on a vertical broiler, served on a pita or flat bread. The meat is spiced with garlic, paprika, pepper, dried parsley, oregano, and often other spices such as cumin, allspice, coriander, and fennel, among others. It is accompanied by tomatoes, onions, and most importantly tzatziki sauce. Oh, you aren't from the moon, and already know what a gyro is? Fine, I guess there's no pleasing some people. The chips taste like all the spices and the tzatziki sauce, but I can't really detect any lamb or meat flavor. Upon first sniff (when I someday get around to writing a trashy porn novel, I'm going to use that line) the spices really stand out, being somewhat reminiscent of sausage (also going into the novel). The tzatziki isn't apparent at first but slowly grows as you masticate (not going to be included). Overall I think the spices can be a little overwhelming, but it's not bad. Also the flavor is served on Lay's kettle chips which give them some heft and a nice crunch. That's two reviews into the 2015 Lay's Do Us A Flavor competition, and we do not yet have a clear winner, so keep posted for New York Reuben and Southern Biscuits and Gravy.

Found at Harris Teeter

Donated by Crystal 

Lay's Wavy West Coast Truffle Fries Flavored Potato Chips

What could possibly get me to break my long hiatus from writing? 2015's Lay's Do Us A Flavor contest. This year the flavors have a theme, regional tastes. I'm going to start with the West Coast Truffle Fries. I do feel like this is a bit of a cheat, making potato chips tasting like fries seems almost a bit lazy, not exactly a feat like making grapes taste like cotton candy.  Okay, okay, the important part isn't that they taste like French fries, but rather the truffle flavoring. Calling it truffle flavoring isn't fair, really, because it actually has black truffle, Romano cheese and duck fat listed in the ingredients. So do the fancy schmancy ingredients work? Meh, sort of. Upon opening the bag and on first bite I thought I had been given regular sour cream and onion chips. It's only on continued eating that that the more subtle, richer flavors shine through. There is an earthy almost silky depth to the flavor. Since I've never sat down and eaten a whole truffle by itself, I can't be certain that it's the truffle I'm tasting, but it does taste like other things that incorporate truffles. You need to let the chip sit on your tongue for a bit to really get the full panoply of flavors. Of course this is how exactly no one eats potato chips so I imagine a lot of people are going to be disappointed when they try it out. Luxury potato chips are kind of like having gem stone studded Crocs, you can enjoy them, but no one is going to impressed and that's not really what they are for. Try them, enjoy them and maybe next year they will have smoked salmon and caviar chips.

Donated by Crystal 

Found at Harris Teeter and Giant